I’ve gotten real with you guys before so this won’t be totally new… I’ve talked about my struggles finding work that I love, my new best friend Prozac, and everything in between. I’m still constantly figuring it all out, and I’m not sure I’ll ever stop.
That being said, shit is about to get real, I’m going to open up big time and talk about my general health patterns over the last 30+ years. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed lots more cooking and exercising…
Ok, so let’s do this.
For the record, I’ve tried but just can’t get into cauliflower…. I’m getting better with ginger, which I used to hate.
I’ve always been athletic and associated myself with a healthy lifestyle and strong body. However, when I take a step back, I realize I’ve been unhealthy and overweight more often than I’ve had my six-pack. As I inch closer to 38 in August and the inevitable 40, I’ve been thinking about who I want to be a lot more than normal (and trust me, I think about shit A LOT). When you have that feeling of time running out, it makes you think. Not that 40 is old, or I plan on dying anytime before 100, but it does put things into perspective and makes me really think about how often I use that horrible phrase, “I’ll do it later”.
Speaking of my best friend, Prozac, I’ve also been trying to pay closer attention to what it can and can’t help me with. Like most people, I thought my food addiction and weight issues would be solved along with my depression and obsessiveness. Nope. It has helped me a lot with certain things, but if I’m going to get fit and stay there, it’s going to take a concerted effort, not a higher dosage of any drug. And what it’s really going to take, more than anything, is admitting to myself that it is important to me.
I just don’t want to wait any longer… I don’t want to wait for the “perfect” time, the “perfect” attitude, the best drug, etc. I’m done waiting…
I was starting to run a little more consistently, taking Bishop with me and trying to have more fun while being healthy… then, boom, I sprained my ankle pretty bad. I was super bummed and feeling defeated, yet again. Whether it’s an injury or just myself getting in my way, there’s always something.
Then, about a week later, I was just relaxing after work scrolling through Instagram and came across the account of Hannah Bronfman. I had started following her after seeing her on the Garance Dore blog, but hadn’t really paid super close attention until that evening. I scrolled through her images for at least an hour! I was left with a feeling of ‘I CAN!’, rather than ‘I can, later’. Oh, and fuck my ankle, I’m starting NOW.
My staple breakfast of almond milk, rolled oats, bee pollen and blueberries. The best!
I was intrigued by how healthy she ate, never imagining anyone being able to do that consistently, But I could tell she made it a way of life, more importantly a priority. She looked so confident and happy, which seemed to affect every part of her life (of which I saw a lot of in an hour). She seemed to appreciate food, which is what I’m trying to do lately. I loved how many resources she shared, both about fitness and healthy eating. I was also so impressed by her athletic body and challenging workouts that seemed to range from running to pilates, to crossfit type stuff. I’m usually not impressed by thin bodies, but strong and athletic will grab my attention every time. Which is ironic, because my whole life I’ve been self-conscious of how muscular I can get when I’m in top shape. Weird.
What attracted me most about Miss B was that she was very into a healthy lifestyle, but it wasn’t her whole life. Usually, when you see someone with an amazing body and healthy eating habits, they’re a yoga instructor or dietitian, amiright?
So, the combination of approaching 40, hating my right ankle, and coming across Miss B’s Instagram account, it all clicked!…
For the last month, I’ve been doing all different kinds of workouts, anything I can do with a bad ankle (which is much stronger now). I’ve also been cooking so much and eating better than I ever have before, even when I was thin. More importantly, I don’t feel hungry or deprived in any way because I’m eating so well balanced. I’m not counting calories or following any fad diet. Naturally, I’ve lost a little weight, but I have a LONG way to go before I have my six-pack back!
I’m doing Crossfit a couple times a week, but also incorporating a spinning class, Pilates and a cardio/kickboxing class. If I don’t get to the gym, I’m doing jump-rope and walking lunges at the park. I’m eventually going to add a hip hop dance class… can’t wait for that one!
Keep in mind, I do everything 110%, which is great when I’m doing things that are good for me or working on a cool design project. But when I’m, what I call ‘off season’ (both mentally and physically), I also go 110%. This means, I eat everything and don’t exercise, as if I’m on a mission to gain weight. I’m not, of course, I just go with the immediate gratification and lie to myself that being fit is not important to me, being relaxed and happy is. Wait, but I’m never happy when I’m unhealthy. In fact, I usually feel physically and emotionally like shit!
Before: July 5, 2015
Because I’m getting super real here, I’m sharing my scary before pictures and invite you to follow along as I get healthy, inside and out, mind and body…. for good this time!
Hold me to it guys! Comment below if you want and follow along closer on Instagram and Snapchat (@prettyhautemess)…
I also created two new boards on Pinterest, if you’re interested: EAT SMART and WELLNESS.
UPDATE 7.29.15 : I’ve lost 20lbs. I have about 20 to go….. Stay tuned for my “after” picture!